


Fanfic Forever

by Ilovemishaandkittens



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cockles, Creepy, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, M/M, Multi, Other, Poetry, Pre-slash angrysoup, Stream of Consciousness, amazing effort, classical literature allusions, fanfic allusions, first fic, is this fic is it art is it anything?, like dante's inferno, meta fictional fanfic ception, real life fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 17:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5752630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovemishaandkittens/pseuds/Ilovemishaandkittens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first fanfic sorry i dont know how to write summaries. :) they wake up ina haunted house and have to g t out</p><p>My tumblr ilovemishaandkittens.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fanfic Forever

**Author's Note:**

> For my facourite fanfic writers.

It was a dark and stormy night.  Prettymessedupsituation awoke from a fevered dream.  She dreamt that she had won the SPNColdestHits contest for the month of January with her sweeping tale of reality tv.  Yet, the surroundings she awoke in was unfamiliar.  The room too large and the hallways too dark.  As if in a nightmare, she crept down the stairs.  

The first person she saw was a pretty brunette in her early twenties with fanfiction blue eyes.  

"I was asleep and then I was here," she said.  "My name is Soup." 

"Who calls themselves by the name of an entree?" Prettymessedupsituation mused aloud. 

"Hey that's offensive to people who chose food based URLs," said a small chipmunk voice.  

Prettymessedupsituation turned to see a woman standing beside Soupernabturel.  She was strange looking.  With cherry red lips and creamy Asian skin but her eyes were horrific.  They were blurred by angel death laser ray blue lens flares.   It was of course Angrysouffle.  

"I think I died and went to hell," said Souff.  "I was reading this fic by Bloodandcream before I went to sleep.  It was very graphic and that thing Cas did with the horse OMG WOW." 

The three fanfic writers looked at each other, it was Prettymessedupsituation who spoke first.  "So narrative imperative is to investigate the house right?  Like if we are on Supernatural that's what we would do."  

Soup and Souff nodded.  "Of course we should try to head to the kitchen for salt." 

"Oh are we going to rant about shipping and anti-tags?" Asked Souff.

Soup rolled her eyes and make a wanking gesture with her hand.  Souff blushed.  "I always forget to tag, soss." 

Prettymessedupsituation led the women down a corridor and they came upon a stunning brunette in the kitchen, rifling through the cupboards. 

"Let me guess, you are looking for salt?" Prettymessedupsituation extended her hand. 

"Yes, I was.  Looks like we're in hell so you know better get armed.  Hey you think Doug the bar Demon is around here somewhere?" 

Prettymessedupsituation looked at the brunette askance.  "Powerfulweak?" 

Powerfulweak beamed.  "And I think we should pray to Tim the bar angel.  He might help us!" 

A melodious German accented voice rang out in the hallway.  "I think what you guys really need is a Reaper on your side!" 

The writers turned to find a glorious person dressed in a shining nurse's uniform in the kitchen doorway.  

It was Souff who cried out "Reaperlove77! OMG THANX FOR YOUR REBLOGS!" 

Souff always spoke like she can't write.

The gang moved through the house and came upon closed doors. The first one they opened had a person in it surrounded by menacing miniature trees, each one greener than the last. They pulled SupernaturalMystery306 out. 

"They kept shaking their leaves at me seductively!' The writer cried. "It was one crack fic, seriously, I don't even like flora fucking." 

Prettymessedupsituation nodded. "Stick with us, we'll all get out together with fandom team spirit!" 

The second door they opened contained young English writer, Rabidbinbadger jumped off the bed and smiled. "I think I'm winning, are you lot coming to congratulate me, govenor?" 

"Not so much," said Prettymessedupsituation. "We're in hell, gotta get out, you coming?" 

"I guess," Rabidbinbadger answered. "Hey are we in a fic? Is there a cockles twist in this fic? Are you Jensen? Are you Misha?" 

Souff and Soup looked at each other. "No we are platonic online friends who have never flirted with each other in our lives we are dudebros and we are no homo we hate each other really." They said this in perfect unison. 

"And I'm married," added Souff. 

Reaperlove77 coughed "Taste the rainbow." 

The last door they came to held two women. They were doing things to each other. Frightening yet exciting things, involving tattoo tools, piercing guns, Hello Kitty sex toys and a lot of stamina. 

"We are here to rescue you!" Said Souff sincerely. "From endless um... Oh wow what's that position called? What's this kink. Does that even fit there... I have so many questions." 

Bloodandcream stood up, majestic in her raven haired and bambi eyed glory. "Hello Souff, would you like me to show you how these things work?" 

"Yes, make her blush!" Mayalaen said gleefully, eyes scanning up and down Souff's body. Souff was mostly pastry but Maya decided she looked good enough to ... 

Prettymessedupsituation stomped her foot. "Look we can all pile into some sort of neverending orgy or we can get out of here and back to our electronic devices. There are gifs to be used and posts to be reblogged. We have crack fics to write in the real world so let's get a move on." 

Reluctantly, Souff allowed Soup to lead her away by the hand, still asking about various kinks in a whisper. Soup very patiently explained each kink like a living dictionary of kinks. 

Reaperlove smirked and raised her eyebrows. 

"Jesus, she's like 34 and the other one's like 20 something, it's disgusting," said Powerfulweak.  "Not the sort of thing I'm into at all." 

They found Fire Bog Tourguide armed with hockey sticks. Hit The Books brought an arsenal full of cowpats. Spnergitout was accompanied by Juliet the Hellhound.  As the fanfic writers' number grew they became increasingly more confident of their chances of getting out of hell. 

In the grand ball room, they encountered another group of writers, who called themselves the 2k15 Hitters.  They were led by Fem-DeanWinchester and WhatAboutTheFish, two very capable individuals armed with rubbish bin lids and sock puppets.  Haelblazer was there, sucking on what everyone hoped was a cask of red wine along with Subtextual a hot little thing dressed in Victoria Secret lingerie.  The smell of roses accompanied IsisMcGee and Nerdinessboundaries had with her a second Juliet.  

They formed one big group, hugging and talking excitedly as they exited the house and stopped dead ... 

It was not hell that greeted them.  It was worse. 

There standing before the exit to the real world stood an angel. 

"MISHA!" Cried nerdinessboundaries.  "MISHABETHYNAME!" 

Every knelt at the feet of the angel.   

"I may be the gayest of the gays," hissed Soupernabturel. "But I would jump that." 

"Where's Dean?  Is Dean here?" Reaperlove asked agitatedly.  "I need DEAN!" 

Souff was in awe, she kept whispering "Dom Brow, Spank me, Dom Face, OMG!" 

It was Prettymessedupsituation who spotted the inconsistency.  "Hey he's not moving." 

They all looked at each other.  It was Bloodandcream who went up and touched the angel first.  "He's just a statue." 

"Oh..." Everyone sighed.  

"But he smells kind of delicious," said Maya. 

The writers encircled Castiel.  

Bloodandcream and Mayalaen gave each other goading looks. 

But to everyone's surprise it was Angrysouffle who flung herself at the statue of Castiel first, biting a huge chunk out of the angel's ... Ankle? 

"OMG HE TASTES LIKE MARZIPAN AND LOVE," Souff panted between bites. 

The writers were upon Castiel within seconds, devouring him to nothing.  

When they all wiped their mouths and looked at each other guiltily, slow clapping drew their attention. 

From the shadows emerged the real king of hell.  Or Kings rather.  Jensen and Misha were smiling. 

"Hey guys, now that you've eaten hell food you're gonna stay with us for eternity."  Said Jensen.  "But it's okay we have karaoke." 

"And all you can eat seafood buffet," Misha winked. "Skittles for dessert."

"This is heaven," muttered Prettymessedupsiutation, her eyes running over Jensen's shoulders, legs, hipbones they were all making her very angry.

"I'll stay if you hand over the sex tapes," Bloodandcream grinned. 

Mayalaen elbowed her sharply.  

"I mean if you perform for us live," Bloodandcream smirked crookedly.   "And let us record it." 

Jensen and Misha looked at each other and shrugged. 

Souff fainted about three minutes into the recording when Misha poured cream into Jensen's teacup.  "Avenge me, Soupsi," were her dying words.  "Via fic." 

Soupernabturel died thirsting for tea. 

Prettymessedupsituation gorged herself on so many Skittles the rainbow overwhelmed her and she became catatonically angry and died as a result. 

Reaperlove died when Jensen smiled at her. 

Powerfulweak wandered off looking for Doug and was never seen again.  

The other hitters regretted their life choices and died from regret. 

Mayalaen died wedged between Jensen and Misha during tea cake. 

Bloodandcream alone survived, returned to the human world and sold the tapes and became incredibly wealthy.  Opened her own BDSM club and founded the first fanfic university, offering scholarships for those willing to write rarepairs. 

The End. 

The Buck looked over to the Lemming.  The Lemming smiled. "That was a lovely bedtime story Buck." 

"Same again next month?" Asked the Buck. 

"Of course." 

They kiss and they fuck. 

The End, Again. 

Plot twist.

Jensen frowned down at the script.  It was the worst thing he had ever read in his life.  He wished he could unread it. 

"Reading the latest Bucklemming?" Misha asked, walking past.  

"Nah," Jensen sighed.  "This vaguely makes sense." 

"Salt?" Misha started filling up his kettle.  

"No salt in my tea please," Jensen said.  

"Is it for the mockumentry? Another award acceptance video that will set the internet on fire?" Misha guessed. 

"No," Jensen muttered.  "Just ... This crack fic competiton.  These fans, I can't take it." 

"Hey, it's okay," Misha said softly, brining his teapot spout to Jensen's cup and pouring gently.  "This will make you feel better."

Jensen drank deeply. 

\---

Castiel shut down the internet browser quickly, flicking over to Netflix as Dean entered the room. 

"I hope that was porn you were looking at," said Dean.  "Nothing weird." 

"Yes," Castiel stumbled over his words. 

"Are you writing fanfiction about fanfic writers again Cas?" Dean asked with a wary sigh.  

"No..." Castiel mumbled. 

"Look at me Cas," Dean said.  Castiel looked up his eyes blue and wide like a blue screen on a computer when it is shutting down from too much cockles or destiel overload.  

"I .. Have a problem I know. I can't help it those fic writers are just crying out to be made fun of over and over. And I ship angrysoup so ..." 

"Oh I love you, you weirdo," Dean said and they kiss. 

The End. 

Really. 

No not really. 

Director dean yelled cut. This was the worst reality tv concept he had ever seen crossed over with trendy plot twists. Pitting fanfic writers against each other didnt work, they bonded over smut so quickly. 

He picked up the cowboy pilot script. Hmmm this looked more promising. 

Fin.

If you have loved my first story ever, please come and follow me on Ilovemishaandkittens where I reblog Misha and Kittens exclusively. 

Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> http://angrysouffle.tumblr.com/post/135374175848/january-rules-reblog-this-post-to-enter-your


End file.
